The Mis-Matched Molecules.

2007-07-10T22:30:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, moved to a new blog.

http://markzheng.livejournal.com/

No tag board, still undergoing altering at the new one!

See you chaps there this will be 1 of the last posts for this blog!

2007-07-08T23:27:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Varun, Calvin and Charisa, especially Charisa. Thanks for the talk in school and the message. I needed a reality check to stop the self denial. Thanks alot sister.

2 years ago, I stood back proudly on my 2 feet. It's not impossible this time.

Thanks to Jean, Guo Liang, Emmi, Joyce and Alvan all who made school slightly brghter than the skies today.

My karma has came around. What goes around comes around. I made a mistake. Now the consequences. Take it like a man, son.

I'll be back, but not this weeek.

2007-07-07T20:45:00.000+08:00

Just completed 2 hours and 45 minutes of studying with Varun at the library. Boring day considering it's a Saturday.

Thanks to Li Jun for talking tome throughout the 2 hours and 45 minutes cause I would have been damn bored had she not talked so much.

Dinner at 9. First time I had dinner so late. Until then. ORH-CHI-KOI-YOH!

2007-07-07T10:26:00.000+08:00

Song of the Day : "Love It When You Call " by The Feeling

I've been thinking about it. There is nothing I can do about it. All I got to do is remain optimistic. I believe what goes around always comes back around.

=D

So a very bitter, yet a sweet week ends. Bitter cause of several things I cannot control. Sweet cause of something that hasn't happened to me for a very very very damn long time. Not since 3 years ago to be exact.

Here is the report card so far for my tests.

Case Reading Test : 32.5/40 (Top)
Statutory Reading Test : 32/40 (Top)
Principles of Management : 35/40 (Co-top with 2 others)
MacroEcons : 82/100
Computer Systems Applications : 31/50

Since Case and Statutory Reading tests are of the same subject, I currently stand at 3 As and 1 C. Shows hard work pays off. It's a new Mark as compared to the one who failed all along in Sec 3.

Beginner's luck? Maybe. Let's see if I can maintain the momentum. Every year I also arrow 5 people who will be my competitors. So here is the 5.

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Ann Marie

TKGS girl and also from Marine Parade. She is the power-house favourite for topping the class in all subjects. Her Econs got 93% but I am not so sure about the others. She is like the Chelsea of the EPL, always expected to top subjects.

Rating : 4.5/5 (Major threat)

Alvan Lim

Bloody crazy bugger study like there is no tomorrow. Beat me in Econs and CSA so might probably be in top 3 for class. He stresses me out on the bus sometimes when he vomits out what he learns in class.

Rating : 4.2/5 (Major threat)

Xiao Yong A.K.A Jerry

Talented fellow who is sometimes code named Ferlin Junior because of his knack of being honest and very competent at answering Mr Ferlin's questions. Gained a strong foothold in presentation and might be a dark horse.

Rating : 3.6/5 (Dark Horse)

Joyce

2nd in class for Case Reading test so might have to watch out for her.A dark horse as well, Might catch up if I don't watch out over my shoulder.

Rating : 3.4/5 (Dark Horse)

Jean, Li Jun and Bell

These 3 are potential surprise packages especialy when you consider that Jean scores 49/50 for CSA, Li Jun co-top POM with me on 35 and Bell's Econs 87% was a surprise to her. Have to keep my eyes open.

Rating : 3/5 (Surprise Packages)

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As for the rest of the class, I am sure most will rise after seeing first term's results. People like Charisa (another sister!) and all are sure going to up their gear to another level. Let's do this as a class, babes!

I leave you with this message from Charisa's blog, entry on Thursday. Thanks for it, sister!

Anyhow, congrats to Mark! I'm really really happy for your good results
cause I know you obviously deserve every bit of it and I still wanna thank you
for always helping me out. Like searching for articles for me, helping me with
the assignments at unearthly times, printing stuff for me, paying for the notes,
etc! You go, brother! :)

2007-07-06T20:16:00.000+08:00

The sky's smiling sarcastically, as though challenging me to question its smile.

The majestic skyline contrasts the emotions running through me.

Taken for granted by human beings, no its mocking one.

The vapours in the sky are free, unlike the blood raging in my veins.

I am a walking corpse without a soul.

Like the Undead under the command.

What life was, will never be again.

Thou art doomed and destined for a life of misery.

Release these shackles of torment, I pray.

For every step I take, I feel life's worse.

A walking nightmare, they used to say.

My destiny was forewritten this way.

In torment I find black.

In misery I find joy.

Is this possibly the path that had my name authenticated with?

Pray tell me, before I get too deep.

2007-07-05T16:13:00.000+08:00

Stupid arsehole pouring silicon powder on the plants.

1 night of self pity. That was the promise. I am back. Back with a smashing A for my Oral Presentation Group and topping the class with 32 and 32.5 over 40 for two papers.

BUT I am staying grounded. The applause I got was pleasant but not necessary. Remain humble, son. We still got a damn long way to go.

Cheers to Bell, Xing Yi, Sharifah and Hong Hui for today's OP, although I suspected we got A cause the other group got screwed.

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Manga Maximus
Your Superpower is Kissing
Your Weakness is Sunlight
Your Weapon is Your Foam Darts
Your Mode of Transportation is Jet

What's your Superhero Name?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

So true. HAHA! Thanks to Guang for putting all the quiz on his blog cause he nothing to do.

Took some more and they say I will love a Capricorn. Oh well, time will tell.

2007-07-05T00:09:00.000+08:00

Mission accomplished.

Thanks to Leroi for being such a true monitor, the guys who went with him to get the stuff and the 4e1s who made it all happen. To those who didn't make it, sorry about the inconvenience cause it was on a Wednesday.

Thanks to God for people like Najib, Calvin, Shank and Nigel. I won't forget.

1 night of self-pity. Tomorrow I will be back. Pity I can't cry my fucking eyes out.

I forsee sleepless nights.

2007-07-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

Xing Yi : " For this past 2 weeks, you everytime do tutorial every time heart not here, less enthusiastic."

I wonder why. No wait. I cannot keep thinking. My brain, body and soul has been overworking on thoughts and I am near a breakdown. As demostrated near LCOM Tutorial today.

It runs through my head once, and forever puts me in a state of confusion.

I question myself is it relevant. Rhetoric question. Afterall, it was silly to think that way.

I know I am rambling in circles. Only those at HG knew what I was saying.

It's late. I need sleep. I need to clear my mind.

-------------

All those promises. To think I was waiting for it to materialise. I was actualy that gullible. Maybe I should have just left you alone. Selfish for oneself. And they say men are bastards. God, I wish those shits took back their words and watch me struggle against the inner demons. I feel exhausted everyday from fighting to maintain a sane mind and I am fast losing my energy.

Self made disaster. Thinking back maybe I was just a fool or just a plain stupid asshole who was just believing that fairies did exist. In time to come, will I be a realist or still the same old immature fuck that I am.

"While I'm gone, everything will be alright."

The sadest songs have the most meaningful lyrics. This I promise you. I cannot think anymore. If only you knew how difficult is it to just try and fall asleep.

Well done, Mark.

2007-07-02T21:56:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

When you got really nothing to do, you do this.

Thanks to LiJun and Guang who displayed on his blog. Sadly for both of them I got 40% for both.

2007-07-02T00:19:00.000+08:00

MPFC is more or less 1 year old in field soccer. But the bond we have goes beyond 1. Missing in the picture are some teammates who couldn't attend because of other matters.

4-1 victory but it was an average game for me. So a lethargic Saturday and Sunday was on hand and here I am blogging at 1235 AM Monday morning.

Life goes very fast doesn't it? 1 year ago, I was nowhere. 6 months ago I was in oblivion of what the future held for me. 3 months ago, Xuewei left for Australia. Today, she is back for a short break, I am looking at a test in 9 hours time.

--------------

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

"Nothing Lasts Forever" By Maroon 5

2007-06-30T01:22:00.000+08:00

Boys will always be boys. Fascinated with cars and machines, it is almost orgasmic to see car-transform-into-fighting-machine.

This is the second movie after Ocean's Thirteen that has got my mouth hanging open in awe at it. And it's the second movie this year that gets 4/5 stars after Ocean's Thirteen again.

This movie just takes my breath away.

2007-06-28T00:09:00.000+08:00

Did I grow up according to plan? says:
you're one good gentleman!
Did I grow up according to plan? says:
keep it up brother!
Smiles as I enter the final day of the week! For people confused, this is 1L03's trademark TGITA (Thank God It's Thursday Afternoon) routine.

So been busying messing up my life with work and now I should been sleeping soon right after Sister Charisa sends me her final document to print.

----------------

"I hate how much I love you girl. I can't stand how much I need
you."

Rihanna feat. NeYo - Hate that I Love You

2007-06-26T05:28:00.000+08:00

Can't sleep, troubled dreams and it's a cold, wet and emo morning.

Fucking irritating, these thoughts that turn my head inside out.

I am losing the will to smile already.

2007-06-25T23:05:00.000+08:00

Monday blues huh? Guess it must be. Finished CSA already with a rather OK performance.

Soccer was all comical and all with Guang, Shank, Nigel, Raiyan, Tom, Prakash and I having a hilarious time at HG.

Snooker with Guang and Shank was just fun. I won! But by 20 points, out of which 8 came from both of them. Guang wasn't on form so I guess I just got lucky.

Watched the lightning in the sky for a few minutes, capturing nature's brilliance.

-------

I year ago, I didn't know that many MPFC lads, just a few here and there. Now it feels like we walked through fire and ice together, especially with some of the teammates.

Neighbourhood just got a whole new meaning. Without them, I would still be another douch bag sitting at home isolated from the game I bleed for, with only occasional street soccer.

We are a team. A team that lost together and won together. Even if 1 was missing from the 25 guys, something will not be right.

Tak about team bonding. Talk about brotherhood. If you called the person beside you a "brother", how far would you go for him?

For all those whom I know as Brother, you know I will take the bullet for each and everyone of you.

Loyalty. Hardly exists these days.

2007-06-23T22:59:00.000+08:00

1. Conceding a controversial penalty, which they missed cause of the "Bottom Left" curse.

2. Striking a free kick with maximum power.

3. Winning a header.

4 and 5 Together with Guo.

So today was a match between old legs and young talents. We won 5-1. Performance was quite steady except for 1 bad judgement. Still it's not everyday you live to save your team from letting in another goal after they rounded our keeper.

Katong Laksa with the lads and it was an enjoyable time. Partly cause we won 5-1 but also the chatter was just hilarious.

"Toyota Line of The Day" comes from Samuel.

Samuel : " So far you all go Poly, JC ah. BUT not 1 of you message me and say : Sam got chiobu in my class, here is the MMS / Picture. Intro lah!"

--------------

Guess who's smelly birthday is it?

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY BABE! You know your birthday ain't that good cause we are not there celebrating for you! Return home soon. You know you're missed badly. =(

Have fun there first yeah. AND FOR YOUR FUTURE'S SAKE WE HOPE YOU GET YOUR 98%!!!

2007-06-20T21:25:00.000+08:00

This is Varun. Occupation : Clown and Comedian.

Fucker made me sneeze 20 something times in Nigel's house within 2 hours. Still a very nice guy to study with.

So nothing much happened for today except us studying at Nigel's house and a whole gang of us playing soccer at HG.

1 goal a day still fulfiling.

-------------

I don't know anymore. I've been keeping my spirits up for days.

2007-06-19T11:28:00.000+08:00

I was looking through my old posts last night. All the way from December last year and I read some posts which changed my life, notably the 100th post and the O Level results collection day on 9th Feb.

Life. Unpredictable.

Got a wake up call this morning and had a nice chat with Jiehui. Considering I slept at 4 this morning, it was quite good that I could wake up and talked in the sleepy voice.

Sunday was a mild day. Monday was a busy day with projects again. So I am getting set for a good day today. It's lunch with my cousin and auntie before abit of projects then soccer.

GEEZ AND I REALLY SLIMED DOWN. Just take a look from my archives. In all the pictures before I was quite a fat ass. Now I look fit. ^^

2007-06-16T18:16:00.000+08:00

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget.

You are not a very grounded person. You prefer dreams to reality. For you, it's all about possibilities.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now.

For you, falling in love is all about the adventure and uncertainty. You can only fall in love with someone who keeps you guessing.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

2007-06-16T11:56:00.000+08:00

The first picture with Danny Mat after he came out of CD. I think it's like a custom to go to HG after we come back from somewhere. We were all expecting a 8pm arrival when he popped up in the middle of soccer.

So the few days have been study / projects. Boring life like no other. Most classmates would agree with me that the holidays are not fun.

Had my best form on Thursday when I was teammed with Guo. The 1 goal a day criteria is constantly fulfilled except for the occasions when I am injured or just started recovery.

Things are looking glomy on the injury front. It's new knocks after knocks on the knees and ankles.

Back-up fellow. Is that what I have become? I never believed I was a back-up player. I was and always will be first team player. And I'm not talking about soccer here.

I am starting to think that I was a transition friend. So much for loyalty. And you would be surprised who I am directing this at. It's not who you think it is.

Bombshells that clouded my time, emotions and thoughts everyday.

2007-06-12T23:40:00.000+08:00

Wuck-Tards having fun with the song dedication booth at Suntec. Hilarious dedication made by MPFC to a certain Marcus Lay. Hottest guy Guo and Nigel has ever met.

So after sending Mat off to CDA, we watched Ocean's 13 at Suntec at 6.40pm. It was really worth the money paid for it. The whole series is definitely worth watching over and over again on DVD.

Calvin is back. Cheers to that. Other than that it was a pretty draggy day with the movie being the highlight of the day.

2007-06-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

From Top to Bottom : The bodyguards of the class today in Court. The girl who lost her specs in court LiJun! and with Bell. To think Bell says I don't look happy. I look nicest in that 3 pictures ( 1 excluded cause I look cock-er than usual. ) that I took.

So today was Court session. Smooth-flowing were the only words I can find to describe it.

Cage for 4 hours. Now I am walking wounded to the core. 1 poor solitary goal only to my name.

My final day with Mat. A solemn goodbye to a brother who will be going to NS. 10 days man. This holiday has been happening thanks to you man. Sor Sor, Nehmine, Ren Zhen-ly, mmhmmmmmmmm and O ( You know what I referring to la sia )

---------

There is something weird about listening to "I Won't See You Tonight" Part 1 and thinking through stuff. Now I understand why I did what I did even though it was wrong and it hurted.

Now I understand fully. What it feels like to hide behind 2 masks, interchanging them so often I don't know what my real identity is at times.

Sadded.

2007-06-09T23:52:00.000+08:00

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PUT THIS BROCHURE IN FRONT OF VARUN.

For those who don't know, MPFC has a habit of changing the first letters of any word into "w". Especially the word panic. Mat, Shank, Bird, Guo, Raiyan and the rest who mix with us should know.

Wuck-Tards. Varun talked alot of shit today. First he came up with the "Story went wrong", then "Why don't you leave him".

So today was all about projects even though it's the holidays. I see a busy week ahead already. Monday is Court visit followed by Cage for Mat. Wednesday is Cage again. Then it's back to projects and NBA Finals for any free time in between.

A goal a day keeps the critics away. Glad to see that I've been fulfiling that promise. It's looking good for Cage on Monday and Wednesday. I look forward to playing with Guo again. Brothers of the same father but different mother.

Fellow Wanic. =D

2007-06-08T21:22:00.000+08:00

The lepak table is gone. There goes the round table, MPFC's favourite place.

So today was quite alright. Banged in 2-3 goals at BV court there but came home to play like shit. After feeling I wasn't even giving 40% of what I could do, I lost it. Got pissed with myself and I played like a man with a dozen vendettas.

Glad to say I ended off alright.

Alright, injury count going into this weekend.

1. Bruised toe.
2. Ankle Knock (Thanks ah Guo, your leg like metal sia.)
3. Nearly cracked shin (YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW HOW I GOT THIS INJURY)

So after abit of "Emo" state, I am now balanced again. Up till now, I'm still bemused as to how things from 2004 can affect me.

-----------

You know you're so pretty that I can't take my eyes off you. If only our worlds can intersect and merge into a single line of beauty.

IF ONLY. Grown ups will tell you fairy-tales and dreams don't come true. Somehow I hope this one does. Please let it be.

------------------

I owe some mates an apology. People like Marcus, Timo, Najib and those who wanted to meet up during the last two weeks but I rejected. Especially Keith and Shi Kai cause I sort of missed their birthdays. Guilty of being an asshole, guilty of being too nerdy, guilty of taking stuff for granted.

Shit man.

2007-06-07T23:09:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY KEITH SEAH. YOU KNOW YOUR SINGING ROCKS OUR WORLD!! SORRY I COULDN'T JOIN YOU AT YOUR BIRTHDAY DINNER!! I STILL LOVE YOU.

Very tiring day, with time zooming past and life cruising past.

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Night is here. Time to fight memories. Don't understand why these few days, memories of the very old return. Something I thought I let go back in Secondary 4, when it happened in Secondary 2.

Fuck. Thank God it doesn't affect me large scale.

I should stop worrying about things I cannot change. Things like history, feelings, time and future.

Maybe when the time comes to worry abpout all this, then I should worry

2007-06-06T21:03:00.000+08:00

Evolve. Grow. Darken. Dominate. Dictate.

That's the path I chose. Nothing can stop it now.

2007-06-05T21:54:00.000+08:00

Nobody said life was unfair. It's just a perception.

I have wondeful classmates. This comes from the bottom of my heart. I got people like LiJun who says she never study but when Jerry was testing me on 1 topic, she can rant off as though she had a carbon copy of the book in her brain.

Then there is Bell who I depend for navigation to the correct seat allocated to me. Theodor who comes out of the exam hall going "FUCK LA I LOST 20 MARKS ALREADY LAH! @#$%^&*"

Xing Yi who I think slept through the POM exam today, for I think 45 minutes.

---------

Who wants any new jobs? Got alot on offer.

1. Pump petrol for MRT
2. Fix wheels for MRT
3. Driver for LRT
4. Wait for rooster to lay egg ( 1 egg $20 )
5. Pump air into bowling ball
6. MRT Ticket Inspector

People these days are just fucking hilarious. The jobs were contributed by Guo, Mat, Najib, Taufiq, Ameer and Nigel. I shall be looking forward to 10am tomorrow.

2007-06-03T21:07:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Shi Kai! It's been 5 years since I last known you. First blood brother. Brothers for life.

So Sunday was a really unproductive day. Supose to have studied but ended up celebrating SK's birthday. Can't complain though.

Soccer was terific. Got 2 goals at HG but could have got more at HG2. I now hold the record for the fatest goal scored on HG. *Grins* PS : Beat that, Guo! HAHA!!!

Test tomorrow. Gotta rush to study. See you Babes soon! Especially Calvin you bitch, get home faster since you so sian in Canada.

2007-06-03T00:36:00.000+08:00

Today was all about teamwork. Performance in the morning wasn't something to shout about, especially with comical happenings all over the pitch. 3-1 was the final score with us being manipulated in the midfield regions at times.

I find that I connect with some of the teammates pretty well. For some individuals, better than the rest of the team. 1 person is Guo who I find damn nice to be alongside him in the team. Nick is also 1 of the preferred players cause we both forged a partnership since primary school days. Guang comes in at third because of the mentality and the way he plays.

For the rest of the team, I can adapt to them but it's not the style I had since young.

Talk about lack of sleep, I woke up at 8.45pm after catching a 6.40pm nap.

Alright, MacEcons is the game for tomorrow. It's the first major test for the Freshman Year on Monday and I ain't going to fail that.

I find Beyonce's "Upgrade U" video bloody distracting. Not cause of the bling bling in the video, but because of her rocking body and the way she moves it.

Oh Jay-Z, you fucker lucky bodoh.

2007-05-31T21:16:00.000+08:00

We got another Fiona-wannabe. So today was a day spent burying my head in Economics with Varun. Quality learning at Mac where we saw Janice with 1 of my old primary school friend. Still remember her name Shirley Yeo Jing Jing. Good memory right?

So the days are now thundering with activity. It's been a while since I last sat down with Tim and Marcus for a proper chat instead of the usual "Eh, what class now?" in the corridors.

Went for a Vesak Day chill out dinner with Guang, Varun, Raiyan, Mat and Nigel. Pity Guo and Shank couldn't join us. Food was 3/5 stars. Had a superb discussion on football with the lads on the way back.

Funniest shit I heard today came from Nasir, an old schoolmate from TKPS and Nigel's good friend.

Nasir : " Eh Nigel never celebrate Vesak Day? "

Nigel : " Huh? Why must celebrate? "

Nasir : " Cause you Thai what. "

Nigel : " Bloody F***-Tard, not all Thais are Buddhists lah. "

That was just funy shit. No offence to Thai people but the way Nasir said it was just fucking funny.

Oh, and now I know another 2 people whose birthday falls on 11 Feb. Li Jun's mum and her friend and now me.

2007-05-29T21:14:00.000+08:00

Behold the Shrek Invasion, started by Nigel followed by me. Only difference is Shrek is green, doesn't have a goatee, isn't female and doesn't get spotted in TP.

So what's up since the last post? Everything is stabilising now. Friday was alright, so was Saturday where I sprained my wrist at Marine Terrace. Scored 1 goal there and managed to push the VJC Track and Field team to the limit. Didn't need to do the project cause the groupmates did my part. *Guilty*

Sunday was maximum chill out day. Watched POTC : AWE with Bryan, Nigel, Firdaus and Shank. Now I really believe it's a "review - proof " movie. Got my Shrek Ears after pool that day. Best expression of the day? Guang seeing the ears and going -.- "wtf......"

Monday was a "Should have slept earlier " morning. Had a nice laugh with Charissa at the lecturer who was lecturing us. Had a nice talk with her too. Saw most of the chaps I missed i the evening when I was at HG.

Now I know why I like to play with Guo and Nick already. Call it anything you want, but I believe it's just that their style of play suits mine. Got 2 goals today so wasn't a bad day.

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Haha, politics. 1 lesson I learned over the holidays is not to engage in it. People will tend to hate you, talk shit about you, slander you etc. But whats the whole point in doing so? Afterall, it's a perception/perspective at the end of the day. I shall not say anything more in case people fire one homing missile at me face.

All I can say is : I'm Neutral. I don't take sides.

Hehehe, useful tactic deploye by 1 smart Canadian Hunk and 1 Bunny-Fuck during secondary 3.

2007-05-24T22:18:00.000+08:00

Wait a minute. What has life done to me?

1. I am beginning to feel the growing distance with some brothers, both physically and mentally.

2. I am not eating right. It's now rountine to skip breakfast and lunch sometimes, and eating very little at dinner.

3. I am pursuing a course that is practical but not my passion.

4. I am not getting enough sleep. It's now common to sleep after 12, waking up before 8.

5. I am having dreams, of people that I shouldn't be dreaming of, of situations I hate to be in, of scenarios which scares me.

6. I slimmed down down quite abit.

7. I am not playing enough soccer.

8. Life has become such a drag.

9. I got no more life.

10. Whoever said poly life was fun deserves a good socking.

Bring back the old Mark Zheng. Not this robotic, idiotic mono-tone fellow who goes to school and home only.

I desperately need a check point. It's like suddenly after 1/2 a year of playing and all, I got thrown into the fast lane so fast I didn't know what hit me. Damn the feeling is shit.

Let's hope life improves for me. BE OPTIMISTIC, ZHENG!!!

Yeah right, self comfort. Doesn't really help much.

2007-05-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

School was 1/4 awake, 3/4 sleeping today.

Funny how sometimes the lyrics of an old song means so much to life right now.

Weird stuff happening in the world right now. =\

For all the right reasons, at the wrong time.

--------

Brother, is it my destiny to be your rival this lifetime? Was it fated we will clash again?

2007-05-20T21:45:00.000+08:00

Post Number 200. Another mini-milestone reached. I got nothing much to say now probably because I am just plain tired to type what I really want to say OR I just am too uptight to say it out.

Saturday was the day I "went home", to a place where the foor was green and muddy. I had quite a good outing judging by the fact that after 5 minutes I was sitting in the puddle of water already.

We won 4-3. I could have done so much better in defense.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MARIAM AND ROXANNE! HAVE A BLESSED 17TH BIRTHDAY!! YOU GO, GIRLS!!

A sendoff to Calvin who is going to Canada for 3 weeks also. Take care brother.

It's been 2 long days, Days which had trains of thoughts running through every possible tunnel in my brain. I feel so stumped sometimes when I lose the power to translte thought into words.

2007-05-18T23:51:00.000+08:00

So naturally after a painful 3 hours of class on Thursday, I rushed to chill out with the mates. Snooker is the new game, babes. I'm trying to make the step up to the snooker world.

School has reached 150 km/minute so I don't assume there is going to be alot of free time after this weekend. Sorry to all the chaps that I can't meet during school or after school. You should know that I hardly smile or get happy in school these days.

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I need a reason to wake up every morning and the fact that I'm studying something I feel is artificial. But I cannot run away again. I don't want my kids in future to know that their dad was a coward. It will scar my life.

Is this my destiny or fate?

2007-05-15T22:37:00.000+08:00

So it's been 1 hell of a roller coaster ride for my fever. Monday morning it was room temperature, rocketed up to 39.8 at 9.15pm last night but by today, around the 37-38 regions. Had 2 day MC, but with the trouble of submitting all, I'd rather attend class.

So it was quite a pleasant day to say the least. The picture was taken in the library for 1 presentation but this was to show our group was quite steady in working with each other. No offence to the other groups, but if there is something we dudes have to learn quick is that sometimes we have to work with those we don't like sometimes. No direction intended but I think it's better we learn now.

I don't believe in conflicts within a team. Cause I think it's stupid-ly retarded if you fight among yourself. Believe me, you can fight with the outside people for all you want. Fight with your own teammates and you are fucked up.

Met Najib and went to get my laptop accessory and accompanied him for dinner. 1 of the better weekdays overall.

2007-05-13T14:01:00.000+08:00

1. Pic from the pre-match workout.

2. Take note of CK's pink and orange solid. He got snooked big time. We didn't make this up. He still win in the end.

Sunday morning and I am dying from calf and thigh aches. Forgot to drink isotonic drinks. -.- noob shit.

2007-05-12T14:59:00.000+08:00

Just go back from the field match. Drew 2-2. Conceded 2 goals when I went out cause I got hit in my throat. Oh well. We still came back.

1 Thing is maybe we lack quality Midfield Centre. Guang was sorely missed, that's for sure. Guo wasn't too bad and Apit was quite composed.

Did quite well but lacked power to take the goal kicks. Maybe it's the fucked up injuries I got recently, but my legs do feel brittle. Ironically, I dived into most tackles today.

Had 328 Kaong Laksa with Sam, Tom, Shank, Bryan and Shawn where Bryan told us amusing stories about life in NS. So here I am now at home, on my new laptop, posting at 3.20pm on this blody hot Saturday afternoon. Got pool with TIm, Ck later at Classics again.

Saturday hasn't end yet. It's a rocking Saturday people. ^^

2007-05-10T18:27:00.000+08:00

Who says old classmates cannot meet up? Close to 20 of us were in high spirits and considering what happened after class yesterday, to say I was in high spirit was no smal case.

I certainly loved the turnout, and here is the thanks to all the classmates for being great chaps! Regardless of where you guys are now, we stil have 4e1 close to us. PS : I suspect Aqilah was close to tears.

But talking about tears, there are 3 people who knew what happened last night. It was just in the moment when something so unexpected happened and there you go.

1 and a 1/2 hours. Xuewei, be a good girl alright? Don't be like SOMEBODY'S daughter hor!

Class was bad today. There is a reason why 1L03 says "It's the weekends already!" on a Thursday evening.

The last picture is dedicated to someone who wore her pyjamas to Simpang last night. =D

But in the end, Jiehui and I took a "What you looking at?" picture to round off the day.

2007-05-08T23:08:00.000+08:00

I walked a nightmare in Serangoon and lived through it. Cheers.

----------

When I close my eyes, I you walking down a lane with the familar items. I open my eyes and I realise the dream is over. No, it WAS over and I accepted reality. I think back and look at that picture I refuse to erase.

I still..

Or do I?

2007-05-06T13:37:00.000+08:00

Friday was alright. Mildly seasoned if you would like. Playing pool after class was a great way to head into the weekends.

Had an excellent steamboat dinner with Bird, Guo, Guang and Nigel. Beat Guo in pool after that. Fluke win so don't really read too much into it.

Saturday was enjoyable to say the least. Morning session with Captain and some of the lads at Marine Terrace. Scored 4, of which 2 goals via the post before hitting the keeper and then entering the net. God it's good to play with Guo again.

It's been so long since I last played with him. He totally sucked the defenders to him before releasing me into space so that I could convert the chance. Talk about a skillful player.

Afternoon was spent studying and abit of pool, before we watched the Manchester derby. Didn't really watch much cause I was doing the CSA work in Varun's house.

--------------

Ever wondered about how the world looks different? When I was having the 1/2 year holidays, I walked around at a relaxed pace and could notice what was going on where. Now, I sense I walk at an increased pace and I don't take note of what's going on except the speed of the bus when I am almost late for tutorials.

Heck, maybe it's perspectives. Maybe it's the mentality but maybe it's just because I haven't felt what's it really like to study so hard at the beginning of the academic year.

Hmmm, it sure looks different from 3 weeks ago.

2007-05-03T19:34:00.000+08:00

Thank God the weekends are nearing. Rotten week so far. So took a breather after the 3 hour class with Mr J where I suffered. I really did. You thought I was a pro at presenting? I am nothing in the business world.

So the big jug of sugar cane was from Serangoon gardens there. It takes 2 to finish that shit, although Bird did it alone.

And you know it's been a darn bad week when I start drawing smiley faces all over the table.

Can't wait for tomorrow's steamboat dinner with the lads. Hell, I sure need the weekends.

2007-05-02T21:15:00.000+08:00

School really smells big time. Ok maybe just for today.

Studied with Varun at Mac, so there was abit of consolidation of today's shit and the first week's stuff. I am looking forward to tomorrow. NOT BECAUSE OF SCHOOL, but because I am going Serangoon in the afternoon with the MPFC lads.

-------

Go ahead la, TH, if it really makes you happy as though you won the bowling championship. Carry on if it makes you feel on top of the world.

2007-05-01T21:37:00.000+08:00

Labour Day. Let me tell you an ironic story that happened in front of my eyes.

I was at Singtel today to change my plan to student plan. Free incoming. 1000 free sms. Smile sucker!

Oh well so there was this lady customer who was ranting and verbally F***ing the Singtel staff for earsing her data. Apparently I walked right into the middle of it so I was like " Wa Nb, liao la."

1 hero kwai lan her and taunted her to call the police la. So she was on the verge of eruption already. Thing was she demanded for the manager and then went on to verbally F*** his A** big time. In school boy terms, the manager tio kan.

So there I was waiting for my application to be processed by a young lady at my counter and the customer was still shouting her A** out.

Irony 1 : Labour Day sia. The manager F***ing poor thing sia. Somemore 1/2 hour to closing time. My heart goes out to him big time. God bless Singtel and that manager.

Fucked up thing : Its sad to see that the 2 daughters, around our age, also shouted at the manager. Come on la, female. Singapore youngsters these days. Getting from bad to worse (AHEM). And here I was looking like an "ah beng" as described by my own mother. PLEASE, I GOT BETTER MANNERS THAN TO YELL AT SERVICE SECTOR PEOPLE LAH!

Irony 2 : The lady at the counter was telling me "Lawyers make a lot of money. Talking to them also need to pay. So have you thought of what you want to be when you grow up?"

=D Of course boss! Thought of already! HAHAHAHA! Lucky she never ask me what course I am in. God the irony of things today.

School sucks when you're feeling down. =(

2007-04-30T23:35:00.000+08:00

Wet slippers, chilli-filled dinner, sing along sessions, talk about ghost stories and just laughter.

We walked 3km back to Marine Parade. Our brotherness goes beyond that distance. Way beyond that distance. Memories rushed back when I walked along the path where 3e1 played truth&dare and the spot where I watched the sunrise with Xuewei. Time really flies.

I need some rest today, a printer tomorrow and some much needed love. =D

-------

Sometimes in life, things don't always go your way. So when that happens, you can't be worrying about things you cannot change. Rather, just try and concentrate on what you can change now. Look ahead, don't look back. Step small steps with increasing steadiness instead of taking 1 big mighty leap.

The good things in life didn't come to those who rushed and rushed and fell at the last hurdle. Rather, it arrived to those who knew how to work out their tactics. Hurdles present themselves, but what I am saying is get over them with all the effort. It doesn't matter if you fall, Miss Chan, cause I believe you pick yourself up again right?!

Afterall, those crazy Romans didn't build Rome in 1 day. So don't try and outdo those crazy Italians

2007-04-28T23:34:00.000+08:00

What a smashing day. Although it didn't start off well, the afternoon was one of the best I've had for a very very long time. Talk about coincidences. We met the Army Boys and Shawn at Suntec just before the 3pm show of Wild Hogs.

Nigel wasn't in the pictures cause he felt offended to be photographed. So here are the pictures from his phone and mine.

1 and 2 are picture of the three mates. 3 is the picture where by the both of them morons tried to squeeze into the kiddy-ride things. 4 is acting cute for Danny! HAHA SORRY MAT! 5 is the MPFC people who went to Suntec.

Nearly fought with some xialan fuckers outside MacDonalds at Parkway cause they were very very xialan. If only Danny or Nigel had started to fight, I also won't hold back against those SOBs. "Deserve to get whalloped" rating : 9.5/10

Saw 3 madman, as in seriously something wrong guys, in 1 video recording.I swear we were just tailing 1 mad man when we spotted another, and then another. Holy shit. Talk about coincidences.

Met up with Najib and Suhaimi, as well as catching up with Ji, Tim and Keith.

Overall, have to say sorry to Najib cause he was planning to spend the night roaming Marine Parade and I couldn't accompany him for the "adventure".

Nonetheless, it was a super Saturday with tons of fun, plenty of laughter, smiles everywhere and an afternoon to remember.

What more can I ask from brothers?

2007-04-28T01:30:00.000+08:00

Hohoho! Finished assignment 3 days ahead of schedule so that can have stress free weekend. Steady or not?

Ok so the day crawled to a start and it was good to go out after 1.30pm.

Beat Martin in pool 4-2. I hit shots from angles which seemed impossible to connect. Had a good afternoon sheltered from the storm which most people were caught in. Nigel was pretty pissed with Bird. Why? Cause Bird beat him twice in "race to 3" games.

Went to Bird's house to get my work done and it was like 12am when I left with Mat and Bird.

Addicted to the song "Circle Circle Dot Dot".

Very brief cause I ain't feeling on top of the world. See you guys soon. Hopefully tomorrow will be a smashing day.

------------

I walked up the slope and past a school, then past a field tonight. Up a place where I once stood with tears. Up to a place I spent my holidays frequenting. Up to a place somebody calls home.

2007-04-27T10:22:00.000+08:00

As the Sun rises to signify yet another day, I saw a picture. And I asked myself : Do I see this happening in another 10 years time?

Was it possible that our heads could be even closer?

And I guess as I sat infront of the screen, wondering, the answer was very simple.

It's a brand new day, isn't it? =D

2007-04-26T16:56:00.000+08:00

Talk about having a bad day. Let me tell you why I admire ATM cards and really wished I had 1.

9AM : $50 inside wallet.

9.17AM : $1 inside pocket.

Have you ever walked around public places with no cash at all? The feeling is freaking terrible.

Textbooks, laptop deposit all equals no lunch money. Thankfully HongHui lend me some money, so ate at Long John's with some of my classmates.

"So it looks like my peak period of rowdiness is ending cause I plan to be like Leroi in class. =("

I take these words back. Was I even sane when I said that?!

Anyway there were 2 incidents which confirm to me I am not the horniest moron in my class already. Taufiq claims that title. First, he asks my other class representative, Islin whether her tits were showing. Yes you just read it right. She was wearing a polo shirt which has a deep V and she didn't button, so that f***-tard just asked her "Is that your tit?"

Secondly, Xing Yi was wearing a short short skirt to class. She sat in front of me and Taufiq. So when it was her turn to go out and speak, she stood up and tried to walk out to the aisle. That horny shit just stared at her thighs and I suspect she was pretty aware at what he was looking at.

This is Taufiq. Talk about no shame. The cow was in the middle of an open field.

2007-04-25T14:32:00.000+08:00

Aiya, I just saw the tagboard. I really got no comments to make. If people want to think I said that, go ahead and think lor. If they think I am that kind of guy, go ahead think lor.

This kinda cheap thrills also want to generate. -.-

Nearly lost my temper just a few minutes ago, and it didn't improve when I saw the fucking tag board.

Immature.

2007-04-24T23:08:00.000+08:00

Day 2. For the first time, I studied at night. It's going to be that way from now on. Constant revision. So God help me if I don't.

So a really weary day nears the end. Being the class representative is equivalent of Leroi's job with the added responsibility that there has gotta be more initiative in you now. Can't complain about the energy level in my class now, nor the bond we have formed so far.

We'll see how it goes.

Ok, so after school was pure relax after 2 tutorials and a lecture. Went to play pool with Shank, Danny and Nigel. Had soccer in the open area in front of Standard Chartered, where our spectators were all the people who walked by.

It's hell good to finally control and hit the ball.

Plenty of laughs and talks before heading to Mac to consolidate today's new stuff. Got a pretty good idea of MacroEcons introduction, Principles of Management.

I seriously need to study this weekend. I ain't going to be like 4e1 Mark Zheng. Lagger, slacker, basement-kisser. F*** that from now on.

Haven't seen some teammates and classmates as often as I liked. Hope you guys are doing steady in your respective JC/Poly. See you guys soon man!
----------

Ankle is finally feeling alright. Looks like it's time to put on the boots and start hammering shots again.

2007-04-23T19:10:00.000+08:00

Whew, Day 1 is over! And what a smashing way to start poly life! Met Nick at 9 to eat before going to school, suffering from the fact that he need not go school today.

Went there too early for my liking. Thank God my new classmates were also there. WHY? Cause most of them live in Jurong, Yio Chu Kang, Woodlands there. SI BEI POWER SIA.

So first lecture was a Mr Shah kind of fellow with much much more discipline. He kan a whole bunch of latecomers on their first day. No kid. This guy is F***ing cool. Respect man. I have his tutorial tomorrow so let's see how he deals with just 1 class.

Consolidated friendships with some new mates. Became class representative ( I also don't know how the blue balls did I tio ), attended 2 more lectures and then caught up with Marcus, CK and Tim.

Hmmm, class looks to be interesting cause at least I am learning something I am naturally good at AND also something which is relevant to life, instead of A Maths ah, Chemistry ah.

No offence to those who are good in that, it's just not my interest.

Ok, quite exhausted from the lectures today cause of a bad headache. Hope you guys had a fun day in your respective schools yeah!! =D

2007-04-23T08:01:00.000+08:00

Monday morning. Just woke up. Looking at the prospect of school. Until 5 pm.

But what to do during break times? Oh well.

Here's a Monday shoutout to Chan Xuewei : HAVE A BETTER MONDAY ALRIGHT?! =D

I cannot locate any stationery for class later. Oh shit.

2007-04-22T00:50:00.000+08:00

Ok, she has got boyfriend liao. NO PROBLEM! BUT WHAT THE F*** MAN, WHY I ALWAYS TARGET PRETTY LADIES WHO ALREADY ATTACHED?!?!

Toosterrrr!! - BIZ BIZ BIZ BIZNESS! says:
mark ah mark
Toosterrrr!! - BIZ BIZ BIZ BIZNESS! says:
we are the sharks OKAY
Toosterrrr!! - BIZ BIZ BIZ BIZNESS! says:
they are the fish
Toosterrrr!! - BIZ BIZ BIZ BIZNESS! says:
SHE is a GUPPY
Toosterrrr!! - BIZ BIZ BIZ BIZNESS! says:
tell you
Toosterrrr!! - BIZ BIZ BIZ BIZNESS! says:
GO FOR THE WHALES

Shawn, you're the man when it comes to analogies mate. But I ain't that gutted actually. Aiya, if I were to say the truth here, you all would call me siao, nuts or bastard. This was like just mad mad infatuation only. Anyway I learnt my lesson not to go near attached girls already.

*coughs* W-HOO?

So HERE IS TO DANIEL GUO WEIZZZONNNG! HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY BROTHER, THANKS FOR ALL THE BROTHER TIMES WE SPENT DURING THESE HOLIDAYS. YOU STILL THE BEST BROTHER OUT OF ALL THE OTHERS OUTSIDE BEDOK VIEW I HAVE MAN. BLESSED BIRTHDAY MATE!

-----------

Today I watched my cousin walked through the gates of Terminal 1. As I strolled past the check-in counters, I felt a tug at my memory. That place brings back sad memories, watching 1 of my best friends leaving for Australia, watching as she walked out of sight after clearing customs. Watching her...go

Haiz. I can't wait for July too. Hope Time flies. Hope my left ankle recovers. Hope I get my laptop soon. Hope school will be electrical. Hope Jeanette Aw comes to Law and Management and sit beside me in class. Hope Eva Longoria becomes my yoga instructor.

Alamak, tired already.

2007-04-20T22:18:00.000+08:00

So orientation is over and it was good! To be fair, it could have been better but hey, it's a good headstart already.

So what's the summary of 1L03?

Not too bad, with only 8 guys in the class. FYI, I am the third smallest in my class in terms of body building. Mariam's friend Alvan is in there. Nice guy called Theodore.

So it looks like my peak period of rowdiness is ending cause I plan to be like Leroi in class. =(

Oh well. There is something which I know some of the other guys might be thinking : You would gladly trade some of your course mates for some of your class mates of last year. Yes that's true, I felt that way too, but hey! Its a whole new beginning man. We embrace changes.

So I can't say I am really happy with my class right now, but that's what I said at the beginning of 2003, 2005 too. In the end? We turned out just fine!

1 thing is for sure. Brothers - Never forgotten. Najib, Calvin, Tim, Marcus, Suhaimi, Aaron, CK, Leroi, Keith and Shi Kai. Love to all you balls!

--------

CHAN XUEWEI - I HOPE YOU GOT/SENT/PLANTED A CLONE IN MY CLASS, WITH YOUR EXACT SAME FUNKYNESS. I REALLY MISS THE HIGH GIGGLES AND THE "AAAAHHHHHHHH" AND THE STUFF YOU DID IN CLASS. NOW I FEEL SO ALONE CAUSE NO GIRL LIKE YOU LIKE THAT! =((((

And Jiehui, Aqilah!! WHY YOU GO HTM?! =(((

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The parting of ways has finally hit midnight. With this ends the class of 2006 and a whole new beginning presents itself. We can choose 2 ways right now. 1 is to stay and relive the old times and the other is to move ahead and get along with life, bearing memories of our old classes. Reminiscence will always return. Can Time do that? Think about it.

With that, we each set off on a journey. It's not the destination, but the ups and downs we went through in the journey that will shape our character.

2007-04-17T23:37:00.000+08:00

Oh well, Blogger has been shitting me up since I recovered my computer. So it's been a long time since I blogged. Alot of things have happened, including my Dad finding out that I pierced my ear. He's kind of cool about it now, so that's a big whew.

Monday was spent at CK's grandma's house playing pool. I think I improved by a bit already, although CK still whopped me by 6 balls.

Tuesday. The day "twins" were born. HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO BOTH NAJIB AND SIOBHAN! "TWINS" FROM THE SAME SCONDARY SCHOOL CLASS OF 1E3 AND 2E3 2003-2004!!!

So today was heavy duty shopping at Beach Road there. Thanks to Nigel for showing me the cheap deals and instead of spending hundreds, it was $56 bucks for a pair of canvas shoes, bermudas and a shirt.

Evening was spent with the birthday boy Najib and the rest of the guys. Pool and DotA, with my partnership with Calvin still good.

And Xuewei called! All the way from Kangaroo Land! HAHAHA!! Spent sometime chatting with her near the ending of the DotA game and it was so nice to talk to her again. You will understand that feeling if 1 of your best friend went away. It's so good hearing from your organic voice again. =D

Speaking of voice, looks like Jiehui's voice sounds better. That means cannot disturb her tomorrow night already, when we meet for tea and talk with Aaron " HE'S CHUBBIER NOW " Ho.

Goodbye holidays. By calculation, it's been half a year of slacking, playing, pleasure and bliss. I think I've had enough of it for now. It's time for serious work now baby. 3 years of hard work I suppose?

Oh well, who knows?

=D Cheers to other poly compatriots who will begin Day 3 when they read this. I am still 6 days away from actual school.

2007-04-14T08:57:00.000+08:00

Friday 13th. Unlucky day? You bet. Just as I rushed out of my house planning to take a bus to Bedok View, it bloody poured.

-.- Oh well.

Other than this, it wasn't a bad day at all.

Went to play pool with the chaps Calvin, CK, Najib and Timo. Surprisingly, I beat Calvin twice I think. I assure you I have never beat anyone in pool, maybe occasionally but yesterday was the best pool session I've had.

WENT SHOPPING! 5 guys going shopping together. Talk about bonding. ^^

Bought a new polo tee (Gio, of course where the price is cheap), ear stud.

And finally, I got something ironed out to Calvin. It's been an internal struggle and it hasn't been nice. Oh well.

Friday 13th - Unlucky only cause you want it to be unlucky. Not because it's a tradition.

OH! OH! 4e1 Temasek Poly chaps! Wanna go to school on Wednesday? Timo, Marcus, CK, Aqilah, Jiehui and more of you guys! We are going there to "see the studying environment", if you know what Timo and I mean!

2007-04-13T09:30:00.000+08:00

Your Brain is Green

Of all the brain types, yours has the most balance.
You are able to see all sides to most problems and are a good problem solver.
You need time to work out your thoughts, but you don't get stuck in bad thinking patterns.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual).

I think I am hooked to this stuff! And it's pretty darn accurate also. Not sure about the good problem solver considering my maths got C6.

Oh well. Off to take somemore tests. Then it's off to Bedok View where we collect the yearbook and O Level Certificate.

2007-04-12T18:09:00.000+08:00

Bad mistake. Pissed off the wrong girl. And it was my fault. SO HERE GOES

SHIREEN, SORRY FOR THAT MAJOR MISUNDERSTANDING. I THOUGHT WE WERE ON DIFFERENT TOPICS. REALLY SORRY!

Ooooppppssss big time. Oh well.

2007-04-12T08:29:00.000+08:00

Your Element Is Water

A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious.
That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep.

Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily.
You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others.

You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves.
You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.

What's Your Element?

Thanks to Guang for his blog's good link.

2007-04-11T08:52:00.000+08:00

I MUST HAVE WOKE UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF BED, ESPECIALLY WHEN I SEE THIS :

MAN UTD HUMILIATE ROMA 7-1

Holy shit man, I don't believe it. WTF HAPPENED TO ROMA?! As a realist, I admit I thought my beloved United were dead and buried. I just stare incredulously at the news. OH MY GOD.

Oh my God.

Salute to Chelsea too, for fighting back. English clubs are owning this year in the Champions League. Sorry Arsenal folks who have to bear the torment of this post.

---------------

The best place to clear trains of thoughts. Just sitting there alone, watching the cars go by and filtering all the "Should I or shouldn't I?"

Thinking back and asking "What if..?" and "Would it have been...?"

I am getting better at controlling emotional thoughts. Maybe it's cold-heartedness or immune to emotional stuff, but I don't really get the down feeling these days.

Not since I walked past sugar, flour and butter in NTUC 2 weeks ago. Reminiscence of yester-year is something I have stopped doing, except on rainy nights.

Shawn's equation is right. Emo-->Depression-->Crying-->Suicide.

Oh well, time to put it all down.

I rather cared for you like how I used to, rather than someone who likes you so much and cannot be of any help. If time could turn back, this was a brave, honest but stupid mistake. What can I say when you've made a choice already?

The answer is : Nothing. It's your choice and your heart. Your feelings. Not mine.

With that, the final petal of the flower drops, allowing the tortured flower to finally expire. As seasons past, a new flower wil bloom and maybe then, will new petals blossom and truly have their share of love. Only when the old has expire, can the new survive. Acceptance, of a death is the only way we can move forward.

2007-04-10T08:33:00.000+08:00

Ok, so my computer managed to out-do itself by auto restarting with the press of a spacebar. I swear I was just pressing spacebar when the damn com screen went black and then..

..gone like the wind. *curses*

So here I am with my dad's laptop, which is restricted, to being online until a laptop comes my way. I guess I won't be online that often / long during the evening anymore. ):

Monday blues. Bleahs.

But it was a great afternoon though, with us MPFC giving Bryan a final Cage trip before he goes NS.

Goals : 3, with 1 a la Carvalho at Tottenham.
Bad news : My ankles were swollen at the end of the night.

I was high yesterday! I also dunno why! It's like I just suddenly got the feeling of performing on the pitch back. It was a reasonable performance when I consider that I sucked balls last Thursday.

Today, i did something unexpectedly =)inspired by MARK.
Taken from somebody's blog.

2007-04-07T21:12:00.000+08:00

Today's nonsense.

Calvin : " So Lam, you're a paedophile ah?"
Lam : " Eh fuck you."
Short pause
Lam : " Eh what's a paedophile ah?"
Guo : " Someone who is afraid of pillows."
Lam : " Eh Calvin you no link leh. People talking about kids you talk about
pillows."

That made our stomachs ache like fuck.

On a more serious note, I am beginning to grow lethargic. I wish there was field soccer. But I guess injuries make you lethargic.

--------

Decisions. Make them carefully. Think through. Think twice. Think again.

Let it go fuckhead, what the fuck were you even thinking? Let the past just die and decompose. If in the future the winds change direction, who can say it's a regret today? Then again if one day history ruins you, who can say you made the right choice?

When the time comes to make the decision, will you be brave enough to choose the right one? You see yourself cause you want to see your own future the way you like it. Not the way reality has it for you.

2007-04-06T11:17:00.000+08:00

So it was a day of ups and downs yesterday.

The Bad : I think I rushed back too early. For the first time, I didn't score at the Cage. Worse, I got the most shots at goal but none went in. Add that to pushing my ankle beyond the pain barrier equals to worse day at the Cage.

The Good : At least after that we had a nice dinner and games of pool. Met Calvin and Keith at McCafe on our way up. And it's a nice way to take my mind off some of the things that were coming from the back of my mind.

And there is something I have to say. I will miss Bryan's nonsense once he goes for NS.

Me ( talking to Shawn ) : "So I guess I will meet
you in Heaven?"
Short pause
Bryan : "Erm, I don't think he is going there."

So I guess it's going to be less fun once the JC lads go into NS. And it's time I had a real time-out from soccer for hopefully maximum 2 weeks.

2007-04-05T06:06:00.000+08:00

I am going to believe what Guo said. That dreams don't come true.

I really hope the one I just had won't come true.

It's just after 6am here and I am very unsettled. Disturbing dreams. And what makes it worse is it is haunting me. I am not turning crazy but I am deeply affected by what I just saw in my dream.

God, please don't make nightmares turn into reality, will you?

2007-04-02T19:16:00.000+08:00

Today the number 1 is the magic number.

1 - The number of hours I spent awake before brushing my teeth. Too busy with FM until I went to the fridge and realised "Oh yeah ah!!! NB!"

1 - The number of times I have to restart my computer cause of the BLOODY VIRUS SOMEBODY SENT ME LAST NIGHT.

1 - The number of minutes before I know my left ankle not ready for soccer yet.

1 - The number of super goals scored before my left ankle collapsed.

1 - The number of weeks before I start to smell the soccer again.

1 - The number of SMS I sent today. ( Oh my hair, thats gotta be a new record! )

-------------

Mark - *[ Past the deceptions and lies. ]* - says:
then u wear my shirt alot she got ask u whether "is mark hot?"

different songs to the same tune says:
LOL! her mom asked my mom " mark's your daughter's bf?

different songs to the same tune says:
hahaha and my mom jokingly said no la,son in law already!

different songs to the same tune says:
then she laugh like shit,then said "her goodfriend from school"

different songs to the same tune says:
HAHAHAHAHA i was laughing so hard that my stomach was in knots!

I know the question abit no shame. But what can I say? I love you, Mum-In-Law? That so made my evening. And I am grinning to the computer screen like a moronic piece of thrash, but I guess that's what you call bliss.

So I guess to end this post on a sad note, it's going to be a long time before I can play soccer again. = [

And I so thought of scoring again this Thursday. Damn.

2007-03-30T18:25:00.000+08:00

Goal count for yesterday's Cage : 4 goals but wasted alot of chances.

Bad part : Slight twist to ankle. Looks pretty swollen now.

Oh shit. Calvin's chalet tomorrow. Fuck it.

2007-03-29T09:54:00.000+08:00

Mark - *[ Life goes on. ]* - says:
bryan
Mark - *[ Life goes on. ]* - says:
215 at round table orite
*unicef Bry+10) - Byousoku 5cm says:
?
*unicef Bry+10) - Byousoku 5cm says:
no problem boss
Mark - *[ Life goes on. ]* - says:
lol
Mark - *[ Life goes on. ]* - says:
i not boss
Mark - *[ Life goes on. ]* - says:
boss is shank
*unicef Bry+10) - Byousoku 5cm says:
no problem lady boss
Mark - *[ Life goes on. ]* - says:
-.-

---------

N-A-B-E-I. Lol

Ok, time to get life back on track. Work work after the tears and farewell.

2007-03-29T07:44:00.000+08:00

I watched 1 of my best girl-friend walk past the Departure gates at Changi yesterday. And as I watched her walk out of my sight, something in me died as well. Something joyful and fun just went away for at least 2 months.

It was hard watching you walk away, even harder to realise that nights will never be the same again. It's now 7.45am on my clock and I haven't slept well. My sleep was filled with dreams. Dreams with scenes of goodbyes, especially vivid in the scene which I hugged you once again and closed my eyes for one last goodbye.

I woke up with a tear sliding down my face and I knew that this was going going to be a whole new different morning.

Life goes on for all of us, be it in Australia or Singapore. 2 months at least before I see you again. And I will be waiting for that day to catch you at Arrival Hall.

Xuewei : I said all I had to say in the book and in my own present already. =). You take care yeah and study hard cause we are all studying hard too. Remember what I told you in the letters.

------------

It's a whole new day. Cage at 3-5pm. Time to soar finally and score.

Girl, you're right. Things have changed. Nothing is the same anymore. 1 thing hasn't changed yet. And you know what it is.

2007-03-28T09:24:00.000+08:00

It's official. I grade my wrapping skills : 3.5/10

First I underestimated the amount of wrapping paper. Second I over use the scotch tape. Third, it looks gay.

Ok, morning grumpiness taking over me, especially when I couldn't sleep properly and was having cough until 3 am.

Busy day ahead. After today, it will be some good rest.

2007-03-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

I dunno where to start. I gave it much thought yesterday night and I really phased it out as the taxi sped away from Bedok South. After sending that "LOST GIRL" home, I began my thoughts on another lost girl.

Someone who is in doubt about her friends and all.

Why do you give me reasons to hate you when you know that deep down I still have feelings for you?

Yeah so M has passed and now D is in. It's just everytime I think about how fast you seem to get guys that makes me broken inside. But what am I going to do about it? Sit there count grass and cry?

Heck, life moves on in the day. But at night, it's vulnerable cause it's when I get sleepless nights and I recall most of the stuff that we did in 2006. I torment myself but there is no other thing I can do.

Do I still have feelings?
Never lost it.

Do I have confidence?
Yes.

Do I still have hope?
Losing it fast.

Who knows? The future is a beautiful realm, yet a scary platform to step into. Better than living in the dreams. Dreams which have people gasping for breath at 6 in the morning, dreams which confuse people and dreams that make one feel shitted up.

It's weird that you are trying to make us hate you. Like a hidden agenda or forced hatedness. Things can get misunderstood and all, but the point is you are trying to be the guilty party.

So what you gain from all this? Pleasure? You know as well as I do that I can't treat you like how I used to. 1 jealousy, 2 you are not always with us. But does that mean you're out of the group? No!

I don't understand. With brains like that, I thought you would have been smarter. You were always advising Xuewei about her things. So what happened when it came to yours?

Is this karma afterall?

2007-03-26T15:21:00.000+08:00

December 2005 reminiscene. To a day when I made a promise I am proud of. I kept it until today. And it's just going to carry on.

Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that's by your side?

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
I promise, I promise, I promise I will

Will I take tender care of you?
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When this world has turned so cold
Will I be the one that's there to hold?

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
I promise, I promise, I promise I will
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
I promise, I promise, I promise I will

Yeah And I love you more every day
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone
I promise I'll be there for you (there for you)I promise

"I Promise" by Stacie Orrico

-----

Enough said. For now, it's going to be a damn busy week. I look forward to the weekends when I can at least rest and look back awhile.

And the bloody storm woke me up at 7am this morning.

-.-

2007-03-24T09:56:00.000+08:00

WTF LAH! I just found out that the cut-off points from last year. For TP's CMM, it was 13 points!

-.- HELLO! I got 12?!?!?! ITS THE SAME FOR MASS COM AT NP

Double -.- This just ruins the nice breakfast I had with my family.

So, ranting aside, I got a little piece of information to share, just in case you are like me who just found out this morning from Nick.

This hyperlink is to show you how many tart-heads will be in your course at which polytechnic for 2007 intake.

http://www.tp.edu.sg/home/admissions/intakes/adm_gce.htm

Enjoy! For now, its the party at Xuewei's house and overnight at Limau Terrace / Limau Rise! It's going to be a good Saturday night!

2007-03-23T11:05:00.000+08:00

The holidays are ending for us, Poly intake students. So it's been a whopping 5 months of rest for me. No work, no studies and just basically free loading. Yeah I know it's not exactly a good thing but I have learn alot during this holidays. A lot more than what school teaches kids these days.

1. That friendship is very fickle.

2. Don't F*** around with $ or words. NEVER F*** around with this 2.

3. How to tarik.

4. Giving up on things that ain't yours.

5. Stand up when you are beaten down.

6. That getting shit results in prelims don't = getting same for O Levels!

7. Critical thinking skills.

8. That MJC is mother far away from my house.

9. Don't compromise morals for the bandwagon.

10. Brothers will still be brothers after what we go through.

--------

A few chaps that made this holiday definitely something to remember.

1. Daniel and Calvin - The two of you are definitely the top of the list. Brothers, definitely.

2. 4e1 Boys - We seldom meet up but when we do, it's been a fun time hanging out with you chaps. We are going to part already, but keep in touch!

3. MPFC - Yeah it was fun hanging out with you guys too. For all the shit things we do, it's been a pleasure having you guys.

4. The BV guys - For most of you who I saw through the holidays, it was definitely good times again. It was superb to hang out with you all during the holidays.

5. Xuewei - Cause you are like the only girl I see regularly over the holidays? And what can I say? A big big thank you for all the times we went out, talk nonsense and all the stuff we did over the holidays.

----------

The time is ticking down already. Major dates to take note : 28th March, 1st week of April, 19th April, 20th April and finally 23rd April.

Cheers to all those going in to TP on 23rd April as Freshman / Freshwoman (OMG SOUNDS SO OBSCENE! =D )

Cheers to those in JC now, those waiting for University posting results.

Let's go make new friends in TP! Whoooo!!!

I got a very pretty invitation!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

=D

2007-03-20T16:36:00.000+08:00

Ok, so life has slowed down a little for me. Not so much of what you would call "Exciting activities". Turned down a trip to Sentosa with the MPFC lads this morning cause I had the complusory TP medical.

Nothing really interesting except this fellow TP student who had a perfect tan, nice nice legs and just a pleasant face. Wasn't really looking though, cause I was leaving the clinic already.

Preview-ed some fellow 1st year TP fellows. 1 really nerdish looking and let's just say that if all the people at the clinic were to be in the same class for 3 years with me, I am gonna score top student.

--------

Think : Pedulum bob and period.

Brother, my trust is in you now.

2007-03-18T16:18:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, it was my dream to rock the airwaves. I guess that dream was destroyed on the 6th of March. I cannot say I was disappointed with the result of posting because some of my mates couldn't get a posting initially.

Mass Comm was my first love. I really wanted it but hey, I can make do with Law.

Being a paralegal worker never crossed my mind. Say maybe for a wild moment in Sec2 and in Sec4, where I thought "Whoa, lawyers are good s***, they make big bucks, get sexy cars and get sexier ladies!"

Oh well. Like my Aunt said, God shaped things so that I got Law and Management. So I am trusting Him right now, something I haven't done for 2 years plus.

I can't wait for school to start. BUT I just want to study. Right now, all other things are secondary. Okay, maybe bird-watch abit. Bloody hell thing is I think I am the only idiotic 4e1 homo sapien in Law and Management. It's kinda F***ing lonely.

*A note to the above Divine Dudes : Please at least put some eye candy in my course, will ya? Bless my eyes and bless my eyesight. May the lovely ladies show up in my course, amen.*

Anyway, cheers to those who begin JC tomorrow morning!

2007-03-17T08:57:00.000+08:00

Fever pitch anyone?

It's going to be soon already. The wait is agonisingly long for the sequel.

C'mon Santiago!

2007-03-14T21:19:00.000+08:00

Some food for thought today.

1. Holding grudges is never good. Once it happens, let it go.

2. Regardless of whatever hostility, once blood flows all that shit goes out of your head. That's why we are called teammates.

Isn't it?

Anyway, Brayn was being an ass to Guang when Guang got injured. The summary of comic shit displayed by Bryan?

Bryan : " Eh Guang you bleeding already you don't treat the wound now sure
infection one!"
Guang : " ERGH! Can you just shut up!"
Bryan : " Eh I am a realist, I am not going to say "Oh Guang the fairies
are going to heal your wounds!"

-----------

And here is something for thought too.

When recently asked by 1 of his girlfriend's girl-mates how much he thought he will have to give into a relationship to work, the young fellow answered confidently : 5/10.

Puzzled by what was apparently an unacceptable answer to her standards, she quizzed him and got an answer worth thinking about.

"In a relationship, it takes 2 to clap. While 1 person can give all his best into it, the other party must give all to work out the relationship also. Therefore, the other 5 is up to whether the girl can accept me."

Smart-ass answer or something worth using?

2007-03-13T23:54:00.000+08:00

CK, Calvin and Aaron on the right...

...Elroy and Marcus on the left @ Laguna Club.

The day was spent working out and running + cycling. Throw in a short tennis session where Roxanne nearly killed me for not serving the ball to her AND hitting Jiehui-like shots back at her, combines to fun.

Finally! A pair of slippers! From Calvin and Roxanne. Thanks to both of you loves!

And to round off the evening, watched Xuewei and Marcus blade around Limau Terrace and then had small chats here there. Quality time spent with classmates you don't regularly see these days.

Better treasure those days where you can spend with your ex-classmates. Once poly starts, I don't really think we got alot of time to meet up and do shit already.

2007-03-08T08:44:00.000+08:00

Taking a time out until April from soccer.

---------

Maybe you call me over sensitive, but I make my point now or I will never make it already. It's either I make a stand or I don't.

Principle first or money first? For me principle.

Feels like shit to be "used" by people. Maybe, one day when your boomerang hits your F***ing swelled head back, then will you realise how screwed up it feels to be given attitude by the very people you call friends.

Thats why I don't treat friends that way.

2007-03-06T23:18:00.000+08:00

Guess where ™ says:
i also didnt
Guess where ™ says:
fuck care
Guess where ™ says:
even got also carry on studying
Guess where ™ says:
tot u all play soccer
Guess where ™ says:
then can score a tyco goal
Guess where ™ says:
becos of the earth quake
Guess where ™ says:
haha
Mark - *[ School faster start, I am sick of staying at home all day. ]* - says:
wth man sam
Mark - *[ School faster start, I am sick of staying at home all day. ]* - says:
its not as if singapore was tilted 1 side

-----------

How to tell if you're soccer deprieved and care too much about soccer instead of tremors felt earlier today.

I didn't even feel a single thing today. Maybe I am taking the fact that we're not going to experience natural disasters for granted, but really I am like "Oh, got tremors ah?" , then start talking about other things.

2007-03-06T08:57:00.000+08:00

Posted Institution : Temasek Polytechnic.

Course Name : Diploma in Law & Management.

Course Code : T09.

-------------

Holy shit, dude. I am now on the phone with my Aunt. I think it's not so bad. SO MANY PEOPLE GOING TEMASEK.

As of 9.10am : Darren, Jiehui, Nicholas, Firdaus, Shawn, Irfan, Aqilah and me are going to TP.

Ok, I am not appealing to Mass Comm. I think I take Law and Management.

2007-03-04T22:41:00.000+08:00

It's time to go BALD / MONK / NS-MEN/ EX-CONVICT / MAT.

Why? Cause I want to look different. It's like being re-born into this world, the feeling. Super nice. Don't let your jaws drop, chaps! =D Pictures courtesy of CK Seng.

BEFORE.

1/2 WAY THROUGH THE SHAVING.

RONALDO'S COCK HAIRSTYLE AT THE 2002 WORLD CUP.

ALMOST DONE.

I think I made the right choice.

2007-03-03T15:38:00.000+08:00

FINALLY A HUGE WEIGHT GOES OFF MY BRAINS! AND THE DAY IS FINALLY LOOKING SO MUCH DAMN BRIGHTER! =D

Today's goal count at Marine Terrace : 3 with 1 superbly assisted by Shawn at kick-off. That was placement at my best so far.

Guang borrowed my slippers cause his tore. I walk around Parkway looking like the typical ang-moh. Thank god my shoes at least show some damage.

CHEERS TO A VERY VERY VERY VERY SEXY AFTERNOON!! THANKS , LOVE!!!!

2007-03-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

It's wierd when thoughts rebound back to you. Stuff that you want to forget and maybe forgotten, just return back to you. Worse it's at night. It's mad that I feel the force of all those "emo-ness" at this kinda time.

It's a big headache, to tell the truth. I can't describe my feelings now. Happy? Sad? Regretful? Wishful? I can't put it into words. It's a mixture of everything maybe. I just wished this feeling can just F*** off. In a sense Calvin was right, I was a bit emo just now. Whatever for? I also don't know. That's pretty F***ed up.

-----------------

Approximately 2 weeks from now, I am ironically going to lose a very close friend to medicine. No it's not death, just that that person is going to Aussie to a college and study. I know a selfish part of me is going to want you to stay behind and go through life's next challenge with us together, but I know that going abroad is a big thing and you should just buzz off and study hard! The problem is I dunno how am I going to like adapt to the fact that "Oh, you are in Australia". It's going to feel like something in life was lost.

I will miss your lala-ness and all the stuff like meeting you, sabo-ing you to call me on a payphone, talking and seeing you in person. It'll be 1 les thing to look forward to for 7 years, with the exception of the possibility that you come back for holidays. Just remember us when you become doctor and give us a discount for our sake. The fees these days kills us all when we wanna get MC. Also I demand free medicine.

Today's goal count : 5(?) - With 1 special single where I cut left and then right before firing a terrific shot passt the keeper.

2007-02-28T09:11:00.000+08:00

Edited a few things on the right.

1. Removed some non-existent blogs, changed 1 or 2 names.

2. Changed from RadioBlogClub to imeem for the music cause RDC was limited.

Please tag if the song can't play. It sucks when your speakers are mute permanently.

AND LEE JIE HUI! I FELT SAND IN MY BED LAST NIGHT!

2007-02-24T14:57:00.000+08:00

I CAPTAINED MPFC FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IT WAS ONE OF MY BEST GAMES FOR THE CLUB. CHEERS AND SMILES!!!! =D

I don't grade myself but the referee, who was biased towards the other team, said I was "an excellent last man." We drew 2-2 though, thanks to a largely controversial goal.

It's so nice to relax and listen to John Legend's P.D.A(We Just Don't Care) after the match.

Cool. =D

---------

Mark - *[ Whichever way you describe. ]* says:
guang
Mark - *[ Whichever way you describe. ]* says:
wad time u free?
[c=5][YiQuAn!][i][b] forget... never... [/b][/i][/c] says:
i'm always priceless like i told u
Mark - *[ Whichever way you describe. ]* says:
-.-
Mark - *[ Whichever way you describe. ]* says:
okay
Mark - *[ Whichever way you describe. ]* says:
wrong question

NEVER EVER ask Guang that kinda question. And when you are talking to Guo, Danny and some of the chaps don't start your sentence with "You know..."

Cause we will reply you : "ACTUALLY I don't know, BUT I swear if you really take time to tell me, I will know." You can play around by extending it to the long winded version to wind your friends up too.

Trend setter of this line : Daniel "mushed potato" Guo.

2007-02-22T11:40:00.000+08:00

I just realised how disorientated I can be when I wake up.

1. I forgot to lock my house door when I went out to buy breakfast.

2. I can't speak properly and I find myself sort of sulking my way to the market.

And this is why I say my brain won't work in the morning.

Uncle : So yam milkshake arh?
Me : Yeah.
Uncle : No pearl can arh?
Me : Umm.
Uncle : Still $1.50 without pearl hor.
Me : Correct.

I think I was just too blur to figure out what I was trying to mean by saying "Correct"

2007-02-21T00:07:00.000+08:00

Holy crap, I got mixed up with Bayshore Road and Laguna Condo there. End up I have ter walk back all the way from CK's house. Incidentally he saw me strolling home.

Today was pure entertainment and hang loose after 2 days of intense gambling and visiting. It's been almost a week since I last saw the MPFC guys and hanging out with them again, especially the joke-deprieved Danny, was a pleasure.

This has to be one of the better nights I am having so far.

1. I think I am damn sian of smoking.

2. I think I don't wanna go around making people think of me as a beng

3. I hated that disappointing look on your face last Friday, it out-burnt the ciagrette that I hold everytime.

4. I am sick of hiding here and there lighting up and blowing smoke from me mouth. I go home evryday smeeling like a F***-Tart.

5. Ciagrettes really burnt a hole in my pocket BIG TIME.

---------

Just saw Bertrand's PM on MSN which I thought was damn good.

" War does not determine who is right - only who is left."

Deep thinking abit and it's a bloody meaningful message.

2007-02-19T15:28:00.000+08:00

Joke video of the year

LOL

2007-02-17T16:26:00.000+08:00

O-M-G
H-O-T

I think I need a chair. I am going to go gaga over her. I know this song was like 2004 come out one, but this is why I am so F***ing smitten with her!

=D HAHAHAHA Jolin Tsai

*Faint with fancy*

2007-02-16T20:37:00.000+08:00

Oh Japan, what did you do to make this honeydew cost a whopping, jaw-dropping $79.00?

Oh sweet honeydew, thou art a bomb in my wallet if I bought it.

For $2.00 you can get perhaps a sweeter honeydew from NTUC/Cold Storage/Giant.

Think economic. The honeydew is going to come out from our southern provinces afterall.

2007-02-15T00:23:00.000+08:00

Shopping with the group was ultra fun. Obviously its for Valentine's Day and I think my cookies are edible.

Not bad for first timer! Please clap clap!!!!!

Shopping with them is pure nuts. And I had to walk all the way back to Jalan Langgar Bedok.

2 chefs at work, when actually the cooking was done by Xuewei's maid.

Ok la, preparation by them was not too bad. I rate Aaron's sotong rings and Calvin's weird shaped chickens 4/5.

Not bad for first timers too!

-------------

Valentine's Day. Some will end in the pits, some will end in the heavens. Today I saw both sides and I ended mine in the middle. All of a sudden I got my old self back. It feels great to talk cock to people already man. Mickey at 7-11, the auntie who bought cookies from Danny's mum. I just feel the right mood to be totally helpful and eloquent-than-before now. =D

Yeah, I think I feel my old self coming back to me. Mark Zheng JunWu your number 1 talking nonsense yet sensitive best friend! I came back from a "break" with Calvin. Funny how sometimes he makes me laugh at his antics, but that's what I needed. Laughter, the best medicine.

Ahhh, it was a good Valentine's Day afterall. I just end with the final statement. Rhetoric statement. Just letting the Over-Thinking wheel in my mind work for one last time.

-------------

" In a world where you were the glass, I now have a shattered image of you. Oh how the fragments of the sharp edges cut me yet the pain is not numbing enough to get to me.

In a world where you were the mug, I now see stains of black coffee and black liqour in your wasted white surface. Oh how it ruined the elegance and purity.

In a world where you were the rose, I now smell a Rafflesia within the petals, corrupting the ever-pretty image of that one perfect rose. Oh how it takes the shine off the beautiful flower."

Races your brains and engages your perceptions and persepctives on my words. It's also time to adopt a favourite policy of Calvin and mine when we were in school.

Old and Effective formula : Stay Neutral.

Smiles babe, it's the day of love-showing, love-making and love-breaking. Cheers to all who scored well for V-Day and encouragement goes to those who scored my A-Maths results on V-Day.

2007-02-13T01:06:00.000+08:00

Ironically, this 2 signs are just 10m apart from each other. Guess its to put smokers into a dilemma whether they can/cannot smoke there or not.

-----------------

This kid, from TKPS (HAHAHA!!!!), pawns Danny, Nigel and I at Pac-Man. No kid (pardon the pun). His score in just 1 "live", pawns our combined score in 3 "lives".

Hows that coming from my old primary school?

Cool right. Never study go become gamer at Isetan. I suspect he is going to be like me. A bodoh bodoh fellow.

---------

Wenesday finale. After that, I step into unchartered waters. Thanks Love, for your support.

2007-02-11T09:22:00.000+08:00

5 reasons why my birthday is going to be happy

1. I scored my first 2 goals for MPFC. =D

2. My results were better than expected.

3. SOME GOONS CALLED ME AT MIDNIGHT AND TREATED MY WHOLE FAMILY TO A BIRTHDAY SONG.

4. All your greetings, whether it's in ungodly hours or normal hours, I appreciate it all the same. Love!

5. Najib, we did it! WAHAHAHAHA

5 reasons why my birthday maybe sad

1. I don't really have any solid plans as of 10am.

2. I want the Air Supremacy (white) boots!!!

3. I might not be free until after 6.30pm

4. I don't feeel older/different.

5. My birthday wish is not going to come true.

2007-02-10T01:40:00.000+08:00

It was vindication beyond words. The moment Mr Yong told me "Mark, you qualified for JC!" I laughed my a** out big time. I never sniffed JC air in my secondary school life, I swear.

When I saw the double A1 for Literature and English, I exclaimed out "WTF!" earning a slap on the shoulder by Mrs Hua.

Then it came. Tears of joy. tears of relief, tears of vindication in the middle of the school hall. I cried like a pussy and a 5 year old girl but I just cried. Mr Yong texted me at 9 plus "I'm so glad to see you cry for joy. For the first time I think you really feel that you have finally made it."

I did it. I sprinted across the finishing line. I began with trips and stutters. My tears show how much I worked. Although it may not seem fantastic to people, to shave 10 points off is absolutely magical stuff.

Najib, we did it. From bottom dwellers to where we stand now. It took 5 exams of disappointment, but the final one was our zenith of form. We proved to people. We proved to our folks. We proved them wrong finally.

-----------

Some teachers said I couldn't make it, some relatives indirectly implied I was hopeless. Some gave up hope on me. The key point was I never gave up on myself. I fought on and I gotten what I sowed.

Mrs Hua told me in the midst of my sobbing "You see, hard work does pay off!"

Vindication. Just pure vindication to all those who doubted me. There are a few chaps I would like to say my heart-felt thanks too.

1. Guo - Bastard if it weren't for you, I would still have been messing around. The day you taught me Oragnic Chemistry was the day you shocked me into work mode. Words cannot express how much gratitude I have for you. Thanks Nigga! =D

2. Mr Yong - Yeah you gave up abit on me, but you never failed to remind me that "The Final Sprint" was there for taking. It was your constant reminding that kept me moving along. You said you wanted to shake my hand on the day I got results, I made sure I kept my word although it was 2 years ago when you said it.

3. Mrs Cheong - My mother's good friend (No joke) was just simply brilliant. To think that my first lesson I was sent out of her class just after 10 minutes, I am glad I got double A1 for both the subject she taught me. Never failed to keep supporting us.

4. Miss Peh - I kept your words. I wrote narrative. I got A1. I did it. I so badly wanted to see your reaction. I knew you could see us from Heaven. Thank you for the words and that fateful scolding on 2005 Mid Years.

---------

To all those who didn't get the reesults they wanted : It's not the end. Results are a poor way to judge character and ability. Don't let it bog you down! Fight on, with love!

So a parting of ways. We made it, we are undertaking a whole new adventure in a few weeks time. A whole new cycle is going to be in tack. Memories.

Love, Mark

2007-02-08T23:10:00.000+08:00

Today's big goal count!

With MPFC : 5 goals
With 4e1 Chumps : 6 goals, although Marcus said 7.

Big smiles. For now. Now to get some sleep. Geez man I am feeling queasy.

2007-02-08T09:47:00.000+08:00

Hearts thumped, minds raced, pulse quickened, eyes closed. In one drop of sweat lies a worry, in a blink of en eye the seconds tick by. The stability of our minds fail us and the tension of the rubber band is stretched to the max. Calmness and coolness fails us all as we reach fever pitch. Eyes start to dart around, searching for comfort.

D-Day is now 28 hours away. The gargantuan gullotine is ready to strike us where we will hurt the most.

Tomorrow. Friday. 9th Feb. 1430 hours. Bedok View School Hall.

Are you ready, class of 2006?

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Some worthy notes to take note.

1. If you are at home, tire yourself out. Cause, as sure as the Sun shines on all your little asses, YOU WILL NOT SLEEP WELL TONIGHT IF YOU ARE NOT TIRED.

2. Run, jog, soccer, netball, basketball, housework, sex. Engage any one of these activities to tire yourself out. If you want to do the last activity, make sure you use a condom. =)

3. Tonight, most of us will worry and will toss and turn in bed. My suggestion is to drink milk, chocolate or something warm then go sleep. If this alternative fails, try alcohol. Don't get caught can already.

4. Whatever your results, open your minds. Don't be limited by the points. Keep all avenues open, babes!

5. You already did it, so no point trying to hope/pray/worship/hope against hope/hope again/pray again.

Finally. Not good luck. Best of luck to all those of class 2006 regardless of whichever school you're in. Be it Victoria, Bedok View, Bedok North, Ngee Ann, Broadrick, St Pats or private candidates.

Get ready your tissue papers. And like Shawn said, bring along chocolates or whatever that keeps you going. It'll be over in a blink of the eye.

D-Day. I cannot emphasise more already. Now for my 4 hours dosage of soccer.

2007-02-07T00:34:00.000+08:00

Sometimess right, when I play in a team, I dunno whether is it me or the fact that I too competitive. There is something about me since Sec 2 I think.

That whichever game I am in, I have to be the winner/winning side.

You can call me a perfectionist or too serious, but thats my character. You take that out of me, I won't be the same player. I will never be the same player if I find myself lethargic. Thats why when I am in a team, I try my best to win games.

Some of you know I get fucked up when I don't win games. obviously, I didn't work hard enough to win that game what. So when I don't give my best, I feel lousy. That's partly the reason why sometimes I fuck the team playing with me cause when I see them not giving their best and here am I doing the work, it's not nice. Communism ain't the way in any team.

Sometimes mistakes. Okay, I can accept mistakes cause I also err. But the point is I never give up hope on any teammate on my team. Yes, I might shout shout here shout shout there, but its cause I hope you can be better players. Look at Tom.

Sometimes we learn, sometimes we get screwed. I was screwed by some of the older guys, notably Ravin. It's all up to your persepctive. If one day you can vindicate us, good. Seriously do vindicate us cause I find it nice to vindicate people.

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Its not like I've been sitting back pointing fingers at others and not bothering about myself. I also trying to improve on things I lacked in the first 6 months. Now my challenge is to head the ball from opponent goal kick. So I am getting more and more header training when I am not playing in a match.

It's all about improving man. It's just whether you wanna try and make yourself better of just flop down and sit "Enough."

For me in soccer, nothing is enough. =D

2007-02-04T21:50:00.000+08:00

The power of guys right, is that we can talk from soccer to sex in like a spilt second.

Ok, I admit my spelling sucks but at the end of the day, something cockanaden from Samuel and I.

AND YES! WE WON! KHAIRUL AMRI!!! Super shot! Don't stop supporting The Lions! Although I remember sometime back when we were booted from Asian Games, all Singaporeans were calling for "Stop Funding The Lions"

No wonder Singapore football produce so little talents and we are reduced to playing Sunday soccer. Bleahs man. Fair-weathered fans? Especially to that dumbbell who had the cheek to write to Forum last time to stop funding The Lions. F*** you if you watched us win the AFC Cup.

So which sport you want us to fund instead? Badminton? Golf? Let me tell you. Soccer is the only sport where Singaporeans are united when they sit in the Kallang Stadium. It is the only sport where you hear the horn, you know the insult to hurl.

2007-02-04T17:56:00.000+08:00

Its a week to my birthday. Will it be a happy one or a sad one?

MOE - It depends on you.

God, I just had a dream last night saying I got 19 for L1R4. Geez, I was damn unsettled and confused as to where to go and further my education.

Now that results are nearing, I feel the familar "Butterflies-In-Your-Tummy" feeling again. I can hardly breathe peacefully everytime I think about it.

Damn. Its not nice speculating. Its bloody downright unhealthy.